Posted by
John Crutchfield on Thursday, June 26, 2008 8:17:37 AM
Lots of people think global warming is a serious problem. I'm not one of them, but no one can deny that a whole global economy is being built around it. New business and investment opportunities are popping up everywhere. Consider the following.
Millions of babies in third world countries have carbon footprints that are relatively insignificant, consisting of nothing more than the co2 they exhale. Adults in those same countries have much larger carbon footprints even if nothing changes but the size of their bodies. A fully grown adult will naturally exhale a higher volume of co2 than a baby and therefore makes a greater contribution to global warming. But thanks to increased ethanol production, that problem is being mitigated.
Increased ethanol production has created a global food shortage resulting in a glut of abandoned infant carbon footprints. Now, for the first time, you can buy carbon offsets in the value of those abandoned footprints and hold onto them until they mature, just like the real thing. Imagine, carbon offsets for pennies on the dollar! What a great addition to your carbon retirement portfolio. Buy now while supplies last.
Don't feel guilty. These kids are dieing anyway. Why not invest in this once in a lifetime chance for giving real meaning to their sacrifice? Check out the International Carbon Footprint Clearinghouse in Brussels where smart investors can take advantage of this great opportunity to counter global warming and buy a clear conscience at the same time. Visit their website:
www.genocideisgoodfortheplanet.org (org is for organic)
The preceeding essay is total fiction, but not far removed from the absurd concept of carbon footprints and offsets.
A friend commented: "How sad, that satyre for us is reality for millions". How true. Our actions have consequences and extreme actions have extreme consequences, but there is something even more disturbing at the heart of this matter. It's the silence of the main stream press in reporting that most of these third world victims don't have white skin. The fact that they're almost exclusively people of color is blithely ignored by the eco-racists parading around in self-righteous green. To them, sacrificing black babies on the altar of environmentalism is acceptable for the forgiveness of sins against mother earth.
God didn't intend for us to ignore the suffering of others and Christians should not support climate policy that trades the weakest and most vulnerable for an untested solution to an unproven problem.